Archives for January 2011

On Things Half Finished…

Seeing things through On my daily walk with the dogs this morning I got irritated because I couldn’t find one of my gloves.  “What good is half a pair of gloves?” I thought as I stuffed one cold hand into my pocket and set off across the fields.

But I always pay attention to this kind of event, because I know it can serve as a symbolic reminder about something going on in my life. (Ok, call me weird, but it keeps me entertained!)

I moved from the fields into the woods. The walk takes me about an hour. Apart from exercising me and the three dogs, I use it to think and plan and sort things out and in this case to look for the other half of a pair of gloves. And that’s what made me start thinking about unfinished stuff. Stay with me here!

I have a lot of things in my life that are unfinished. And I know that half-finished projects drain your energy and dull your spirit. Creative people need to create, it’s our life blood. But we also need to see things through to the end, to finish when the project is in that boring stage and you would rather stab yourself in the eyes with your pen than write one more word.

I know this is a fault of mine.  I always finish clients’ projects, but I neglect my own stuff. And that is something I have to tackle because it is a big weakness.  I have a tapestry three quarters done, a painting 90 percent complete, two novels half finished and several proposals in draft stage. Like a drug addict looking for their next fix, I abandon things mid way through in search of the new project, the fresh idea, the next big thing.

As I rounded the corner and headed back down the path from the woods towards the house, I made a resolution. “This year I am going to see things through. I am going to make a list of things I need to finish and I am either going to bin them or complete them, but I will act on them.”

And at that very moment (I swear), as if the universe had noted and approved of my resolve,  my dog Maia bounded up to me from nowhere, wagging her tail ferociously and carrying in her mouth my missing glove!




Letter to a Spammer

Dear Mr/Ms Juicy Louboutin Replica Shoes

As you have clearly spent so much of your valuable time posting comments on my blogs it is only fair that I should reply.

I feel we have a lot in common as you have commented on all my blogs. You clearly share my interest in writing, finding homes for unwanted animals in Italy and the tarot. Do you know how unusual it is to meet someone that is so much on my wavelength? Is that why you are called Replica? Anyway, I am so pleased to have met a fellow writer/animal lover/italophile/tarot coach!

On the subject of your name, may I ask you about that? I have heard of people being named after football teams and film stars but never shoes! Was your mother a shoe fanatic? Did you change your name by deed poll? I’d love to know. If I could respectfully suggest that you use a different and perhaps slightly more innocuous one when you are posting comments then it might help. Otherwise people could get the wrong impression about your posts and think you were a – sorry about this – spammer.

Talking about your posts, I hope you don’t feel offended that I delete them? It’s nothing personal but I am just not sure some of my readers would appreciate the full depth of thought and meaning behind them. Of course, I fully acknowledge the fact that you had followed my advice about tapping into the creative right hemisphere of your brain when you posted the comment: “Lying in the mud only people who never before would not fall into a pit.” That is a very ‘right brain’ comment and you are obviously thinking out of the box. Well done!

However, I must admit that, much as I am a lover of the cryptic repost, your comment on my post ‘Don't Forget the Ordinary Dogs' about finding a home for Argo had me foxed, if you will forgive the pun. You wrote: “Blow off an armful of dream.” Was that in code? Is it an anagram? Maybe you were offering Argo a home? I’m not sure how I would get him to the Ukraine, but I could look into it. If you could elucidate then certainly I could post any clarification you would care to offer.

Ah offers. That brings me to your emails. Now, you can’t fool me. I know your style. Being a writer I pride myself on recognising a certain turn of phrase and so I knew it was you when you sent me that very nice email this morning offering to donate $5000 to my Pets in Italy website. Just to digress for a moment, as I used to be an EFL teacher maybe I could give you a few tips on grammar? Take the phrase: “I am in my late 70's with no child.” In English the plural of ‘child’ is ‘children’, so we would say "I am in my late seventies with no children." Just a pointer for next time. Also I am slightly worried about your precarious physical position as you write: “I am on wheel chair now.” I hope that is a misunderstanding on the use of the preposition rather than a septuagenarian balancing feat. (Mind you if you are still wearing your Louboutins at 70 plus, then good luck to you, I say!)

Finally, you have asked in a recent communication if I would look after a large sum of money for you left by a distant relative in Nigeria. (You get around, don’t you?) I would be more than happy to do that. All I need is for you to send me your bank details and online password, a photo of yourself in your underwear (you asked me if I wanted one) , your credit card (original please) and ten pairs of new juicy shoes in size 6.

Looking forward to hearing from you soon, (I know I will!)
Your friend, Fiona

To Worry Mongers and Doom and Gloom Merchants – Shut the **** Up!

Half full Well, Happy New Year everyone and let’s hope 2011 is a great one.

It’s the time of year when we are bombarded with reflections on the year gone by (hate those – it’s gone – get over it) and dire predictions for the year ahead. I try to ignore the worry-mongers and writers of sensationalist newspaper headlines – it’s so easy to be negative and panic people, yes it may happen, but then again – it may not!

It’s like those programmes on doomsday scenarios . You know the kind of thing they have titles like, : “What Will Happen If a Meteor Strikes Earth…” or “The Super Volcanoes – Ending Life As We Know It.” I ask you! Have people got nothing better to do than create negative programmes about things that will possibly never happen? I certainly won’t waste my life watching them, that’s for sure! It’s not that I’m putting my head in the sand, but I refuse to worry about stuff like that, life is too short.

So let’s make it our New Year resolution to banish the bearers of depressing speculative crap, to try and look at the positive as well as the negative, to treat things in a balanced way and to be grateful for the good stuff we do have rather than the things we lack.

Sermon over! Back to work!